So it has been a long week. I haven’t wrote since last Tuesday! Last week I spoke of things that happened that I didn’t want to talk about yet. Well then more things happened and happened so fast that I didn’t have time to stop and write. I have been overwhelmed this last week. the weekend previous to last Tuesday (the last time I blogged) I had looked at a new office to rent for my massage office. I have been contemplating private practice for a long time. I heard about this space available and decided to talk to the owner and then looked at it two weekends ago. I decided by Tuesday that I would talk to my boss and tell him I found a place. If he made an offer for me to rent the space I was in I would consider it but I was pretty sure I was done dealing with scheduling issues, done paying too much for rent on uncapped commissions and ready to have my own office.
Well I put in notice on Wednessday. I had decided I could wait until August 10 or so to stay at the chiropractic office to help out since the other massage therapist in our office just gave notice that she was leaving end of July. The Dr however decided that he didn’t want me to stay and help out he wanted me to leave. He said “Friday will be you last day” he must have thought I was a threat or something and the other massage therapist was not! I was kind of insulted but ok I guess I have work to do! Since then it has been a crazy busy time full of crazy unpredictable and un-understandable emotions. I went from feeling sad for leaving to feeling relieved to feeling angry that I have let the disrespect last so long! I was feeling not good enough, held back and stuck where I was at. I knew I was going to a better place but was scared and overwhelmed with too much to do in too little time. That made me emotional and the Hubs and I got in two arguments because he was frustrated he couldn’t understand me, well, neither could I! He is a typical guy who likes to and thrives on fixing things and when he can’t be a fixer he doesn’t know what to do and gets frustrated.
I was overwhelmed, I didn’t know how to feel or what to think. I was caught up in my head and couldn’t get focused. Once I got focused on working on my new office which happened this weekend when we started painting the new space and getting it ready it was invigorating, and inspiring. Then I was mad I spent so much time fretting about leaving the old place.
Today was my first day in my new office. I had 3 appointments most of my clients have chosen to keep the already scheduled appointments at my new place. So I am officially in private practice! I am renting space from another massage therapist working in an office of 4 therapists. I got to paint my own office, change out electrical outlets and pick out curtains and decorate. I need to buy a new table soon, I need a chair for clients to sit while they change, I need a mirror (I found one that matches my curtains and will work well but it is $70 and I am running low on funds considering that I have to pay rent! I am excited and feeling free! I have 7 more massages until I cover rent and massage related expenses! I am feeling hopeful and ready to take on this challenge and I am happy to be living my dream live and in person!
It was sad-ish to leave. It was emotional, hard, confusing because I wanted to go but I am looking forward to this new adventure. I was scared to break out of my comfort zone. I am still scared but I know it is good. Good things come from breaking free from fear and breaking out and being bold! I will not stop until I have gotten to where I want to be and I will be happy. I will provide for my family and live in abundance! I am happy to stretch my comfort zone, no, I am happy to leave my comfort zone! I want to, but it is hard and it will hurt but it will be worth it!